Friday, October 27, 2017

Day 30 Apple apple on the wall...

Who's the tastiest of them all? I like honeycrisp and ambrosia apples. A lot of the patients I saw for diet counselling today said they ate apples for snacks. Despite refusing to eat apples for the past year I suddenly started craving them and had to run out at lunch to buy two.

Prompt: The orchestra on the Titanic famously kept playing as the ship went down. Describe the sinking of the Titanic from the point of view of the musicians playing in the ballroom - from the interactions to the sights, sounds, and sensations they experience as the ship sinks.

There are two ways to live life. 
Either be the leaf on the stream, carried by life wherever it goes, or be the rock that stoutly withstands every wave and crash. Be those desperate souls scrambling for the staircase or the stout gentlemen sitting with a brandy in hand.

The ornate, gold grandfather clock states that it is now 12:25. Less than half an hour ago the Captain ordered evacuation of women and children. How strange to see the flood of humanity surge while this timepiece stands its ground. Still dutifully reporting its time as though a fancy dress ball was still going on in its midst.

There are not enough lifeboats. Of course there aren't. But how could that be? Titanic is unsinkable.

Only hours ago lilting music floated in these halls. Ladies in their fancy dresses swept down the floor with their partners. The same white gloved waiters that were offering wine and champagne are now offering life jackets. One is even doing it with the same courtesy as though merely tempting his guest with an amuse bouche.

And the guests.

A screaming young lady. Maybe 18, 19 at most. Still in her night gown of delicate pink silk and lace. Her father's dinner jacket wrapped hastily around her. Hysterical and clinging onto the older man that leads her through the crowds. She is wearing a life jacket. He is not. He assures her, face smooth and voice calm as they pass by.

"It's just a momentary parting, my dear. The Titanic will be fine. I'll simply meet you in the morning."

He's lying, but she can't see that. They hurry up the grand staircase.

One shuddering breath. One moment of consideration. Run for the stairs? Abandon the violin. Take that last life jacket in the server's arms. Get on deck and into a lifeboat.

Horrified screams and screeching. The sound of running water.

Water now streams down the grand stairs. Flowing as though they were dancers hired for the night's entertainment.

Go down like gentlemen. Go with dignity.

The music strikes up again. It's hard to say who started it. Fingers that never betrayed the tremble of their owners. Music as cheerful as the passengers are panicked.

It gets harder to remain standing. The boat is tipping. The end is approaching.

Crash and shatter. Dishes and cutlery fly against walls and floors. Chairs and tables screech, desperate to cling to their positions, and fail. They start to slide.

Knees bent. Leaning against pillars. Anything to keep standing. Keep playing.

Lower class passengers. Their clothes belying their station on the ship. Wading through cold, knee deep water up the stairs.

A young father hitches his younger son over his shoulders. Tries to pull his white faced and terrified wife up the stairs. They are all soaked. Must have come from somewhere else.

Water soaking pant legs. Stabbing, like millions of needles. A bone deep chill.

The lovingly crafted, glittering chandeliers overhead flicker, then give out. Total darkness.

A halt in the music and chaos and panic surges in the darkened room. Water coming to the chest, now. Still the constant rush of more icy stream pouring in.

"It's been a pleasure, gentlemen."

An almighty creak, then bone shattering crunch of metal tearing.

Water overhead. The violin pulled away.

Silence at last. 

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Day 29 Selling myself

It seems like applying to residency is one big game of selling myself for all I'm worth. 'Step right up, ladies and gentleman. See this brand new product; fresh out of medical school. Able to see patients, take histories, and comes with bonus sense of wry humor. On special right now for only one residency spot at your school!'

Prompt 1: You can keep only one memory from your entire life. What will it be?

On the eve of Halloween, and on the brink of clerkship. A hastily cleaned apartment, every pot in the kitchen bubbling and the tables set with assorted snacks and drinks.

One friend after another trickles in, greetings with flurries of hugs and jokes. All sprawled out on the couches and chairs, a custom cocktail in hand and food in the other. The general din of chatter; the room bathed in warm lights. Scents of melted cheese and browning meat floating over the whole scene.

An apron around my waist, spatula in my hand. The oven heating the kitchen behind me. The boyfriend: one arm wrapped around my shoulders. Whispering in my ear. 

The kind of scene a silly little girl dreams of. Of wearing pearls and serving wine. Domestic bliss and still the excitement of playing 'house'. 

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Okay it's short today. I'm short on imagination and short on sleep. 




Thursday, October 19, 2017

Day 28 Chocolates are important

I'm finally getting over my illness and able to add food back into my diet. Chocolate is the first food I chose to add. Well, actually, nutella. Basically spreadable chocolate.

Prompt: You're the high school sweetheart from the previous prompt. Write your reply to the breakup note

December 25 2061

My Corey,

I miss you. I'm safe.

Wanted to get those out of the way first. Our rooms leave a lot to be desired. 16 of us share a big tent with a bunch of cots inside. The newer guys ran out of cots and get sleeping bags inside. 

I miss your cooking. The food tastes, looks, and just is slop. 

I just miss you. I wish I'm with you. 

I'm doing fine, though. Mostly at the base and just patrolling nearby right now. It's great about that contract. Work hard, but don't go falling for some Aussie coworker! 

There's not too much time to write, but I'll reply whenever I get a letter. Promise.

I love you, Corrine. Wait for me.

John

March 22 2062

Corey,

Things are heating up. We're engaging other groups almost weekly, now. No one's been hurt badly yet, though. We've definitely got the advantage here. Except Aaron was stupid and forgot to wear his helmet. He's alive, he just had to sit there while the doctors dug pieces of glass and shit from his scalp. 

I'd love to see you do yoga sometime. I'll pass on the kickboxing. 

I'll see you soon as we kick these guys back where they belong.

Love always,

John

August 1st 2062

Dear Mrs. Hart,

It is with sincere regret that I must inform you that your son, Corporal John Hart, is currently missing in action. 

I cannot disclose the full details of his mission under confidentiality policies but I hope it will give you comfort to know he is doing a hero's work. Corporal Hart is a credit to you and his team. 

We will utilize our assets to their fullest to find Corporal Hart. 

Yours sincerely,

General Erickson

February 8th 2063 

Corrine,

I'm sorry I haven't written much. Things are very busy here. I'm alive and well. 

Take care of yourself,

John

"Dude that sounds nothing like Hart." 
"Yeah, well, what would you say."
"I don't know, man. Shouldn't even be doing this. Should just tell her he's..."
"What, tell her over a letter that John's dead? You fuckin' serious? I just...don't want her to find out this way. You saw her last letter. She thinks he's dead."
"He is dead."
"We don't know that for sure yet. There's no body."
"There never is."
"She doesn't need to know yet."
"At least tell her you love her. John would."
"I can't. Doesn't feel right. I hope she'll move on eventually." 
"And what until then? You gonna keep pretending to be her lover?" 
"Piss off."

April 2nd 2063

Corrine,

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm happy for you. I hope you two are very happy together. 

John


Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Day 27 Send time turner please

Nevermind redoing that one painfully awkward conversation I had in high school, or spending more time sleeping (though tempting at 7AM). Just to spend more time with a pair of patients I had today. So much to sort through, so little time. So many time sensitive things considering it's a family practice.

Prompt: Write a 'Dear John' letter, breaking up with your high school sweetheart who's in the army

December 19th 2061

Dear John,

I miss you. I know it's only been a month, but I miss you. Come back to me soon. 

Are you taking care of yourself? How is it over there? Remember to eat well. You need food to have the strength to fight. 

Things are okay at home. Work is busy; we just got a huge contract in from some people in Australia. I can barely focus though. I keep thinking of you. 

Do you get your own room? Or just a bunk? 

Is it safe? Please be safe. 

My heart is always with yours. I love you forever. 

xoxoxo

Corrine


March 3rd 2062

Dearest John,

what's keeping you guys? I thought you'd be back, at least on leave, by now. I miss you so much it hurts. 

Must be busy there. Your letter was so short last time.

Are you beating lots of bad guys? We don't get much on the news here. I wish I could at least call you. I miss your voice. Tell me you love me. I'm forgetting what that sounds like. 

I'm being active while you're not here. Took up yoga again, and signed up for some kick boxing classes. It gets the frustrations out. 

I miss cooking for us. 

Come back soon.

Love always,

Corrine

July 14th 2062

Dear John,

I'm in Australia. It's stupidly cold here for July. Hemispheres are stupid. 

It's been more than half a year since I've seen you. Is your beard growing out? 

Our contract's going well. I'm getting a promotion and my own secretary. Woo!

I wish you were here. A bunch of us went out for drinks. It was lonely without you, I miss you. 

I just miss you. I miss you. I love you. 

Love,

Corrine


January 30th 2063

Dear John,

Why didn't you write me back? I've been waiting. The other families got letters from your squad. I know the letters are sent together. Did you get my letter? 

I'm panicking right now. Are you alive? Please be alive.

Corrine

March 24th 2063

Dear John,

I don't know why I even bother writing this. 

Do you even care anymore? Your last letter said crap all in it. 

I met someone else.

I'm sorry. I can't anymore. Take care.

Corrine


Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Day 26 gastro sucks

Okay I officially have my first every case of gastroenteritis. Bacterial, viral, who knows. But I can't go to clinic now because I can't leave the washroom for more than 10, 15 mins at a time. This sucks. Remember being younger and it was awesome to be sick, because you didn't have to go to school? I love clinic. All I want to do is be there, but now I'm sick and can't actually make the 30 min drive over, and I don't want to risk infecting anyone else. So I'm secluding myself in a corner of the couch and trying to figure out the best oral rehydration solution that doesn't involve me leaving the house.

Prompt: What your desk thinks about at night

Hey, hey! Hey, c'mon. 

Ouch! Don't just put hot stuff on me without a coaster! You see all of these rings? You wanna scar me some more? 

Yeowch! Watch where you're splashing those noodles, lady. Yeah, don't think I don't see you eating instant noodles when you have a full fridge. What excuse do you have. Can't you at least splash some water on me to wash that soup down?

Okay, finally, putting the food away. Time for work! Aah, sound of a laptop opening. Wait a minute, that sounds like Netflix. Oh seriously? Friends again? Don't you ever watch anything else? Why don't you get some real friends, hmmm? 

Geez, I hate this episode. 

Ugh, finally, are you working now?

What?! Come on, man. Don't close the laptop. You have a presentation due in two days! Don't leave it till the last- Fine. Go to bed. That's just fine. I'll just have to stay up all night tomorrow with you while you rush to finish that slideshow. Fine!

Okay, nono. Put your phone away. I can SEE you browsing Reddit. There's nothing on there. Put the phone down. At least sleep if you're going to be in bed. 

Two leggers are stupid. This one is stupid. I wish I was still in Ikea. 

Monday, October 16, 2017

Day 25 Med studentitis

It's not quite hypochondriac. I just perpetually jump to worse case scenario of any symptoms I have. This evening dinner didn't sit well and came back up a little violently. Of course bowel obstruction is my first diagnosis, despite soft abdomen. I'm diagnosing myself with GERD in a chronic background of med studentitis.

Prompt 1: Three objects in your childhood bedroom

I've had a few bedrooms in my time. My first bedroom in China, shared with my parents. Another bedroom in a condo we never occupied, bought shortly before my parents decided to make the trek to Canada. My second bedroom in Toronto, also shared with my parents. Third bedroom in Hamilton, though arguably not a child's room anymore, but the first time I had a room all to myself. 

Although I've occupied the bedroom in our condo the last, it was for so long my favourite place to be. We would stay the weekends out there, and I'd get my own room, away from the condo my grandparents and parents all lived in. 

It's also the place I revisit perpetually on each return to China. Where we have a traditional take out dinner and I flip through my old room.

Item #1: A cheap, plastic alarm clock. Shape of a little boy with a bowl shaped haircut and red overalls like the ones I wore as a child. With new batteries it still works, and shrilly calls out 'Get up lazy butt!'. My parents set it on me as a joke once as a teenager visiting China. I didn't take it very well.

Item #2: A pink and girly as all get out book. Child's book with is simplistic cartoon illustrations, proclaiming in fanciful letters it was a treasury of princess' tales. Simplified versions of Little Women, Anne of Green Gables and the likes adorn the insides. I like to pretend a higher literary interest, but there's so much comfort in munching on a pork bun while sitting on the floor and flipping through this book. More for the memories and nostalgia of a childhood escape than entertainment. But who says children's books aren't entertaining. 

Item #3: A musical carriage. A music box in the shape of a carriage, I should say. It's the one object that has since made its way back to Canada with me. I remember when I got it. My mother spurned anything girly for me in hopes of raising me into the boyish daughter she wanted. Look how well that turned out, says me wearing a literal pink ribbon in my hair. But it's lovely, and my mom gave in that day. Gold body and wheels, with a blue velvet top and red jewels adorning it. It plays a tinkling and frankly annoying piece when opened, revealing red velvet lining and a mirror. My first - and last - music box. 



Prompt 2: The toy you most treasured

Okay, I'll owe up. I love Pokemon. Loved it since the first cartoon episode. The affair only grew with my first pokemon deck. Heart palpitations when I got a shiny Zapdos card (legendary and rare for those of us who missed the fad). And a dedication to the handheld console games from the first generation of Pokemon Blue (when I was merely 10 or so), to crystal when I could finally play as a girl. My interest fizzled out with the change in platforms and my Gameboy advance could no longer keep up, but Ruby was my last and greatest love. A tiny red, translucent and glittery game cartridge. Over 200 hours logged on the game. The one game that was never reset or lost. And my treasured Blaziken at level 100. I'd argue one of my most tenacious achievements. 

Prompt 3: What's stored in your closet

We all like to say we've got skeletons in our closets. For most of us it's only said in joking, although some do imply that they have darker secrets not yet shared. On a recent elective, however, my roommate in the city was deep in her surgery residency. And one day while looking for a broom I found a skull sitting in the closet. Casually posed there as though it were an old hat that no longer fit fashions. I just ignored it and closed the door. The next day it was on the dinner table when I came back. 

My closet is hardly so interesting. Just my prom dress that I can't bare to part with. No skeletons except my own when I'm digging in there. 

Prompt 4: The next sound you hear and what caused it

My phone's incoming text ding. I caused it, of course. In my panic I've spammed my friends asking for help diagnosing my symptoms. So far I have 'What the hell, go to bed, you're fine' and 'OMG go to emerg'. Helpful, guys. 

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Day 24 The slow burn

Some days are more fun than others, some drag more than others. It's always the busiest days, when patients are double booked and there's a stampede in the waiting room that time seems to fly. On chill days like today when I have a 5 hr gap between patients, it's somehow more draining than running in circles all night. And it's only 45mins into the day.


Prompt: the taste of happiness


Some moments are just good moments.

Sitting on a patio, sipping iced tea and enjoying the first warm spring day of the year. Eyeing the cute guy sitting across from me, studying/gossiping with a great friend, and enjoying the caress of gentle spring breeze. Happiness tastes like jasmine tea, slightly diluted with melting ice and sweetened with sugar. 

Perched on a bench on the hospital's balcony. Idly chatting with friends while enjoying a rare moment of calm without patients or teaching on a busy medicine service. Talking casually of what, nothing. A cool breeze cutting the day's comfortable heat. Happiness tastes like bitter coffee with a splash of skim milk. 

Crouched in damp soil, sun burning the back of my neck. Hands streaked red and brown with dirt and dried berry juices. Joking with an old classmate about former misadventures. Happiness tastes like sun ripened strawberries.

Strolling through the fancy restaurant's doors, freshly finished with an indulgent multicourse dinner. Our first big trip together, taking a walk before going back to the hotel. His arm wrapped tight around my shoulder, and eyes looking at me with pure liking. Leaning up for a kiss and receiving it in turn. Happiness tastes like wine with notes of dinner on his lips.

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All right, short and cheesy, Just some of the best moments of my life I can remember at 1AM in the morning. Style of writing inspired by the awesome The Shipping News.

Some days are just good days. And they just make me so happy.